I should start with my story. I was raised in the church and one of the first things they tell you is to stay a virgin until you get married. The reasoning? It’s in the Bible.
It doesn’t sound hard in theory but around 10 or 11 I started getting urges and ideas that did not line up with this virginity thing. I didn’t want to disobey but my feelings were hard to ignore. No one at church wanted to talk about it so I decided that the technical, scientific definition of virgin was enough for me. It gave me leeway to get rid of some of these urges while keeping my good girl image up.
This “technical virgin” act of mine continued into college. I was already just hanging on by the slimmest of threads at this point so going to school away from my base of family and friends who could at least remind me of my former morals did not help me do better.
It wasn’t long before my V-card was smudged, torn, wrinkled, and downright damaged. I didn’t even know what I was holding on for. I was so far from where God wanted me to be that it was easy to convince myself that sex is what I wanted. So I did. So yeah I was 20 when I lost m virginity (technically) but I didn’t realize that it was back when I was 10 or 11 that I lost my purity.
Purity? Virginity? Whhhaaaaa? I sense the confusion. What is your point Seretha? The point is that virginity is the effect, purity is the cause. Virginity is the physical representation of a spiritual decision. I had been taught to just focus on that. Just make sure that I didn’t get in trouble or disobey physically but no one was talking to me about my heart or a relationship with God. No one could help me figure out what to do when the urges were louder than my convictions.
Virginity can’t be reclaimed but purity can.
Back to my story, after a couple of years of “sexual freedom” as people like to call it I was back in church. It was a right place, right time situation where the preacher was talking about sex. It was one of the first sermons I had heard about it in church….and one of the first times that purity was explained to me.
It was like a light bulb went off! It all made sense now! I vowed to never have sex again…and promptly had sex again in less than a month.
I realized that I had to change more than my mind; I had to change my heart. I had to make the relationship I had with God more important than anything else. To stop having sex was just the first in a long line of decisions to get me to a place of purity. It has been almost 5 years since I changed my ways but it was only a few weeks ago that I bought my first purity ring.
Which brings me to the point of this post-why did I get a purity ring?
No just because it is fly!! I do love the design and it just fits my style. I actually got it because I was starting to get frustrated with saving myself. Like I said it’s been 5 years…a very long, very single 5 years. Unlike a lot of women in their 20s I haven’t had any dates in the last 5 years. You feel like the world is passing you by….getting married and making babies while you wait….and wait….and wait
Yes the waiting was starting to feel long. The reasons I took this course were starting to blur with the visions of what I wanted for my life. I needed something to remind me of the person that I used to be and the person that I’ve become. For me, that was a purity ring.
It symbolizes faith and hope in Someone who has a better plan for me than I could ever have for myself. It’s about waiting patiently and not with an eye out for someone to look twice at me. My ring reminds me to settle down and stay the course. Keep teaching the kids for Sunday school. Keep a smile on your face as you welcome people to church. Be an example at work and with my friends. Be a presence that represents truth and peace in a world that suffers with impatience and lack of joy.
My ring reminds me to wait.