I know someone is reading this blog going “What is that title about?” and wondering what crazy turn my life has taken. Fusion, the young adult ministry I am part of, is going through a relationship series called Sex Ed and I have decided to collect some of my reflections and thoughts here.
The topic of the night was why wait to have sex before marriage. We were taken through the positives(green) and negatives(pink) of sex before marriage as it concerns us physical (top), mental/emotional (middle) and spiritual (bottom) lives.
Illustration used for the night: Before and After Marriage
One of the greatest notes I took away from the night wasn’t even for me but the men in the group. It was said that he, as a man, was worth abstaining and maintaining his purity until marriage. It reminded me of when I first decided to recommit to purity. I went to church on Sunday with a couple of friends expecting the meal afterwards more than anything the pastor would say. Little did I know what was in store for me. The topic was purity all of a sudden I felt like a spotlight was on me. It felt like all of my issues were being broadcast for the world to see! I sat there fidgeting and trying not to look as guilty as I felt for the whole sermon but every word pierced my heart and spoke to the part of me that wanted better for myself. After service my friends and I all talked about the message and how it motivated us to change our lives. We made a pact with each other to stay pure and not have sex.
I made that decision in August of 2008 and even though I haven’t had a perfect track record and fell off the wagon within a month it soon became part of me. I started going to my current church and learned what a life dedicated to Christ really looked like and removed those things that tempted me back to the old way of life.
One thing that was hard for me to change was my expectation for the men who would come into my life. I haven’t dated much since committing to a purity lifestyle but the men who I have talked to say they would think about abstaining for the right woman but want to keep being sexually active until then. They feel like not having sex is too high or hard of a challenge. And it is very tough! I don’t want anyone to underestimate the struggle and withdrawals you go through when you give up something that your body craves.
But it is all worth it. I don’t want my dear brothers to miss out on this part of the journey! There is such favor on your life when you really treat your body as the temple of the Holy Spirit and keep it holy. When you join yourself only with God and not with other people. When you take the time old soul ties so you are ready for the one God made especially for you.
Purity is not a woman thing and not something you do just for the person you are with.
You are worth the wait.