So I got some bad news. I was expecting it but bad news always deals a heavy blow. Almost immediately after the impact of those words I was ready to go on the attack. Not in a bad way but using all of my Christian knowledge of what to do when you need God to change a situation. I was simultaneously trying to figure out what I would be fasting as well as a prayer schedule for the next couple of weeks in my life. I was going to pray fire down from the sky if need be and I knew just how to get God’s attention so He could do some crazy miracle and work everything out in my favor. I was making sure I forgave people and searching my heart for vengeful feelings just to make sure that I was in position for what I was sure to be a great move of God.
Then I got home.
I jumped on a prayer call because what better way to start an epic fast than surrounded by prayer warriors. What I didn’t realize is that I was being maneuvered into position to hear something very important about my plan.
The very first thing that was talked about was the idea of provision. We referenced Luke 12:24 where Jesus says that the ravens do not do not sow or reap but yet God feeds them. In other words they don’t earn their provision from God. How much more valuable to God are we than birds but we still feel the need to earn God’s blessings. My plan had very little to do with God taking care of me and more to do with earning whatever God was planning to do. I was going to prove myself to Him and as a reward He was going to bless me. I realized that I didn’t even ask God if He wanted me to fast so much as informed Him that I was fasting and that He would be hearing from me according to my prayer plan. Earning blessings is not how faith works. I was not standing on faith but on works. I am constantly reminded that as God’s daughter there is no formula to being loved and taken care of by my Heavenly Father. He loves me unconditionally and wants to take care of me.
So in my case I was told that I can’t earn this so stop trying. I won’t be fasting and my prayer life will be as consistent as it was before. And when I am blessed it won’t even occur to me that I had some hand in this or earned His love.