I’m back!! Sorry for the major delay in blogging but some of these topics started weighing on me and a break was very necessary. I am ready to go and promise to finish strong….or at least before 2015
In order to tell you where I am I have to tell you where I used to be when it comes to relationships. I was reckless with so much of myself. I battled with insecurity that made me think that the only way I was going to be loved was to give my heart away to anyone who seemed to have interest. I watched time and time again as my heart was used, abused, and carelessly discarded by the men I let in my life.
A couple of years ago I remembered the God I was taught about when I was younger. That He promised to always love me, cherish me, and thought of me more highly than I thought of myself. I took the pieces of my heart that were left and laid them on the altar. He said that He could restore me but it would take time so I sat at His feet and watched as He made ALL thing news for me again. I cried as He washed away the guilt of lost virginity, rejoiced as he erased the pain of betrayal, and even faltered a little as He requested that He have complete control of my heart. That His Word would be the guiding force of my affections. That I would allow His veil of protection to cover me and protect me from harm even if that meant that I would miss the admiring gaze of the men around me. He asked if I would stay hidden in Him and to be okay with not being the object of desire. To not not gain my confidence from a compliment or likes on a picture but on the work being done inside of me. He asked me to be patient as I was being freed from self esteem issues, child of divorce issues, purity issues, ideals of womanhood issues, sex issues, trust issues, and everything else that had me bound.
I am a woman who has given her heart to God (Mark 12:30). I am fully committed to my Savior and His position as #1 in my life will never change (Exodus 20:3). In comparison to Him it will seem as if I hate my future spouse (Luke 14:26). Just a fair warning to the man who decides to come my way. I have been changed and become better through my primary relationship so I am looking for someone who does the same for himself. I will accept nothing less than a man after God’s heart because that means that He knows the One who knows me best. Who else can help him woo me than the One who made me??
Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. Mark 12:30
You shall have no other gods before me Exodus 20:3
If anyone comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters—yes, even their own life—such a person cannot be my disciple. Luke 14:26