On the Road to 30 I ditched my plans

Yes I’m already 30 but I learned so much in my twenties that I can’t help but share the journey.

I am a planner. I like to have a goal and a means of achieving that goal always ahead of me. And just like my grocery list and summer vacations, I had a plan and timeline for all of my life achievements. I wanted to be married by 24, first child by 26 and done with all my babies by 32 so I had time to get my sexy back. As you can tell that timeline was blown to pieces. At 24 I was just getting the hang of being celibate and was entirely too immature to be married. At 26 I was in the middle of chemotherapy and fighting for my life. 32 is ahead of me but you can see things have changed.

For a while I fought for my timeline. I tried to dissect every piece of myself to figure out where I made a wrong turn. I told myself on New Year’s Day that every year was my year to achieve this dream. I tried to ignore the hints from God for the next levels He called me too because I didn’t want to intimidate anyone. I hid my talents and tried to distill myself down to the simplest common denominator so I wouldn’t stand out. I speak about this in my Identity piece. I did ALL of this so I could make myself fit into my tiny plans for myself. And yet they still didn’t work.

I am SOOOOO glad that God’s plans are higher. That His plans are made to fit all of me and even the person I grow into. The continued service in leadership at my church was not in my plans but has become part of who I am. Working with the creative collective Clean Ears wasn’t even a thought but it has become so important to me and part of my foreseeable future. Now my plans are there but submitted to the ultimate Author of my Life and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

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