10 Thoughts of a Perpetually Single Girl

There are two types of girls in this world. There’s the girl who is always in a relationship. There are very short time periods in between boyfriends and they seem to meet guys rather easily.

Then there’s the girl who is always single. Years go by between relationships and she has a hard time meeting guys. It’s not that she isn’t looking, it just isn’t happening.
So me and my dear friend Tawni have put together a little list of thoughts all the #supersingle girls out there have. Let the emotional healing begin…

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Tawni and me!

Why God why?!!
Why me? How come the boys are just knocking others girls doors down without them even trying and I’m just over here in the desert? This is not what I planned. I didn’t make a vow to be single for years. So what’s up?

 

Am I Ugly?
Did my Mom and Dad lie when they told I was such a pretty girl? Have I been out here thinking I had it going on and really didn’t? I mean it’s either that or I am invisible to men.

 

Do I not seem AVAILABLE?

So many have heard the ‘well you look taken’ excuse that I have taken a magnifying glass to my forehead in hopes of finding whatever is giving off that vibe and scrub it off my body. How is this even possible?? And the men I asked have yet to give me a good answer.

 

Boys Are Stupid.
And Insensitive. And annoying. And only think about one thing. Do I sound like a 15 year old? Well that’s because boys may grow up to be men, but inside they’re still boys, especially when it comes to girls. They’re still out here treating us like crap under the guise it’s because they like us.

 

There are no available men

‘Are any guys going to be there?’ is a question I hear a lot with the women I hang out with! We start to weigh the time and preparation is takes to get ready for a night out with the probability of meeting someone interesting. But we can’t deal in absolutes in life–there are men out there…..somewhere….I guess

 

He doesn’t exist.
He just isn’t out there. So I can stop daydreaming about him because he isn’t coming. Romantic love is something that only some people get to experience and I am just not one of them.

 

Desperation spiral

I find that a lot of my singleness issues are actually in my head…besides not being asked out in forever. The occasional ‘woe is me’ breakdowns that occur usually look something like this.

  •       Self-doubt

This is where you question everything. Most of the questions are in this post like ‘am I ugly?’ ‘am I supposed to get married?’ and more! I question my wardrobe, the way I talk, my (lack) of girly tendencies, my height, my weight, my body shape, my ability to hear from God, my friends, and anything else my neurotic mind can come up with.

  •      Re-evaluating standards

Many women have a list (some longer than others) of things they are looking for in a husband. I believe all lists have to be refined by God so that our personal prejudices don’t block an amazing person God has for us–BUT a chronically single Christian woman man think about letting some of the essentials slide as well.

  •       Anger at God

At this point I am actively airing my grievances to God. Not only asking why He made me this way but why this is so hard! The ugly crying and yelling happens here too. I’m just thankful that God takes my prayers in any way they are delivered.

  •      Reassurance from God

I am not a disfigured beast of woman unworthy of love. Or at least that’s what God tells me on a very regular basis.

  •      Happy until you see someone else get into a relationship then…..

I am being honest in that I can only see so many happy couples on my social medias before starting to get bitter. I limit my social media when I get into those kind of moods so that I’m not always somewhere in this circle but the struggle is real.

 

I could be single the rest of my life and be happy.
I think. I’m sure they’re women out there who never had kids or got married who lived fulfilling lives. They can travel, go wherever whenever and not have to answer to anyone. I won’t lie and say that doesn’t sound appealing. It does, it’s the best part of being single. But what about those lonely nights?

 

Bargaining with God

This is when you pull out the list of things you have done to ‘earn’ the promotion to wife if not AT LEAST girlfriend! “God I not only read my Bible daily but I serve with the kids AND greet at the front door on Sunday. Why won’t you send me somebody?!?” It may sound funny but it’s actually very dangerous. We can’t as Christians use our works as a way to ‘make’ God give us something. We are living by grace and there’s no way to earn that gift. To try and puff ourselves up enough to fit a combination of acts and righteousness God has in order to be in a relationship ignores the reality of who God is! He craves to be the ultimate relationship and the #1 love in our lives. It’s only after we truly come to that realization that there is a possibility of anything else.

 

Thinking of going back to your old ways

This is where bargaining goes full temper tantrum and we threaten our Heavenly Parent saying that we will run away from home if we don’t get our way. I  can laugh because I have done this and God, in His infinite patience, let me get it all out and firmly reminded me that I was acting like a child.

Check out my co-author Tawni Winns at her blog tawniwinns.com 

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