Have you ever wondered what that moment after “Not my will but thine be done” looks like? What do the moments, hours, days, weeks and months after “Yes” feel like?
I’ve stepped out in faith and I have no idea what next is.
I don’t doubt what I have done, there is no regret in me but I’m not used to jumping without not just a parachute but also a plan when my feet hit the ground. I am floating when I feel optimistic or falling when the darkness inside me gets a word in. More often than not I am fighting my control freak nature with a panic default and depression back up setting. I have to dig deep for a faith that can make it to the promise and patience for the journey I said yes to.
I am trying to set goals, find ideas, even write but everything feels so nebulous and uncertain. I really don’t know how anything is going to work out or what my future holds which is scary. 2018 could be full of great steps towards a purposeful life or it could be a year of trials and pain.
I pray for courage in every step I take after Yes.