The end of 2017 was all about getting out of my comfort zone. I quit a perfectly good career and jumped into the deep end of doing things a littler differently. I am having all of the adjustment and growing pains that come with trying and failing to find my place. In order to stop myself from the self sabotage of quitting before I start I have challenged myself to keep growing in an area I have a lot of trouble in: fear.
Fear of failure, fear of loss of control, fear of success, fear of attention, and types I haven’t even identified have crippled me time and time again. My inner dialogue isn’t supportive but destructive and borderline abusive when it comes to thoughts of my gifts, talents, or a future I can make for myself. I want to break that cycle by pushing myself even further out of my comfort zone. I want to do the things that scare me, to feel the fear and do it anyway, and prove to myself that most of my fear is unjustified.
This month I did something spontaneous. If you follow me on Twitter (@SerethaJC) you know that I have a new obsession, The Love Connection. I found myself yelling at the screen hoping the contestants pick the person I thought was best for them on every episode. And then a wild notion whispered in my ear….”What if it was you?” Any time on my blog will show that my dating life hasn’t been great [Bad (at) Dates and Woo] so the thought stuck. And stuck. And grew. And before I could freak out, I applied for next season.
Yes I applied to put my love life on front street, on camera, live and in person. And it is FREAKING ME OUT! But I am so proud of myself for it. I haven’t heard anything (and I don’t really plan to) but it was a gigantic step away from what I’m used to. I can’t wait to see what else ends up in my path and continue to share that with you.
Here’s to 2018!